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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard about a man who became a werewolf? He was distressed at first, but then he took a lycan to it."

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"What's it called when a blonde dyes her hair brunette? Artificial Intelligence."
"An Englishman walks into a pole... He tells him, ""Get the fuck out of my country"""
"So I recently discovered there's a black man in my family tree... he's still hanging there."
"*buys almond milk* ""I'm gonna get healthy!"" *drinks almond milk* ""This is gross."" *pours Hershey's chocolate syrup in milk* ""Perfect."""
"I'm so pissed right now I'm going to open a can of... what the hell, when did they start putting child proof lids on the cans of whoop-ass?"
"Chicken pot pie sounds like such a good idea. If you add commas."
"What does the pirates 5 trailer and the iPhone 7 have in common? There's no jack"
"I'd be worried about my privacy settings on Facebook too if I had as many pictures of my ugly baby as you do."
"My kid just called Child Protective Services because he still has an iPhone 5S."