197410
Joke of the Day
"Its World Malaria Day on 25th April. But what do you get the mosquito that has everything?"
Next Joke
"""No, there's no way!"" I totally could ""No you couldn't!"" *slams the rest of his beer* I can and I will -the first guy to ride an ostrich"
"I went to the hairdresser and she asked how I'd like my hair cut. In silence."
"A woman asks her Milkman to fill her bath with milk.. He asks ""Do you want that milk pasteurised?"", She replies ""No, just up to my boobs please."""
"Why are pirates good at singing? They have great hARRRmony. I'm sorry."
"I often worry about the safety of my children, especially the one that is rolling their eyes at me & talking back right now."
"Imagine the most awkward thing you've ever experienced & it pales in comparison to watching me try to pass someone walking."
"Husband getting dressed: Me: Purple and green don't go together. Husband: It works for the Joker. Me: My point exactly."
"Apparently Kanye dropped a new album on an obscure platform. Torrent."
"I once found a used dildo in my house, i am still searching for more toys."