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Joke of the Day

"If I were a woman, I'd probably say things like ""gotta go polish the petunia"" and then back my car into a mailbox."

"Why was the little shoe unhappy? Because his father was a loafer and his mother was a sneaker."

"I've decided to get a couple tattoos. On my right knee I'm going to get ""Disney."" And on my left... dat-knee."

"What do people in Prague call abortions? Canceled Czechs"

"My son wanted to go to Disney, but I told him little boys who ruin marriages don't go to Disney."

"I bought some super sensitive condoms a few months ago and they won't stop crying because I don't use them."

"A young girl asks her father. A young girl asks her father ""Daddy what does the word slut mean?"" Father ""Sweetie don't use that word, your mother will be offended"""

"Whats the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has pricks on the outside."

"What do fat girls and scooters have in common? They're both fun to ride.....until your friends see you."

"I have a pretty good memory.. I'd say its about a 9/11. I never forget"