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Joke of the Day
"I like my wine like I like my girls... Eight to ten years old, and kept in my cellar."
Next Joke
"What do you get when you cross a female tyrannosaur with a male tyrannosaur? Tyrannosaurus Sex! *I apologize deeply, I'm so...so sorry*"
"I too lost 120 pounds... And the Judge says the bitch gets to keep the house..."
"My mind has been wandering so long, we're pretty much in a long-distance relationship."
"My mom saw me crying in my room and asked what's wrong. I told her I feel like I didn't exist. She told me I do exist because im a pain in the ass."
"Wife holding bank statement: What's this payment? Me: we're sponsoring a panda! W: so is this monthly? M: No, it's just for the one skydive"
"It's been raining so much, I have begun the construction on my Ark. If you need any help I Noah guy."
"My MILFshakes bring all the police and devastated families to the yard."
"What were Jesus' final words? ""So long and thanks for all the fish."" Edit: Everyone hates me."
"What time do dentists fly airplanes? Tooth Hurty (2:30)"