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Joke of the Day

"If you're in a plane above LA... What happens if you are in a plane above Los Angeles, and when you look out the window there are no clouds beneath you? U C L A"

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"If you get kissed by an alpaca it's not the end of the world. It's the alpaca-lips."
"What did the Mississippi girl say when she lost her virginity? Get off me Daddy you're crushin' my cigarettes."
"Ive recently been under the weather but now im in a stable conditon My rooms filthy and there is shit everywhere"
"Where did Lisa go during the bombardment.. Everywhere"
"Why is it so cold at Christmas? It's in Decembrrrrr."
"Rules for a happy relationship 1. The wife is always right. 2. If the wife is wrong, see rule number 1. i know it's an old joke but it's my favorite"
"You know you are a Physics nerd when.... Yo mamma so fat she attracts black holes"
"Why did the californian celebrate his birthday a day earlier? He moved down-under!!"
"For Halloween i'm dressing up as a cloud and handing out celebrity nude photos instead of candy."