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Joke of the Day

"If you're in a plane above LA... What happens if you are in a plane above Los Angeles, and when you look out the window there are no clouds beneath you? U C L A"

"I'm emotionally constipated I haven't given a shit in days."

"A man went onto a train with a banana and a suitcase.... He arrived at his destination safely."

"If you crossed a cow with a goat what would you get? Half and half!"

"Study shows 1 out of 3 people are unfaithful to their partner. I wonder if it's my girlfriend or my wife..."

"Subway's known about Jared since the beginning how else can you explain how they knew he likes to eat fresh. I'm going to hell for this one."

"Being autistic is a bit like being a photon... Getting from here to someplace else is instantaneous, but what happens in between is incomprehensible. (source: am autistic)"

"I found out why amphibious cars never caught on. They were always getting toad."

"Frog Joke. What do you call a temple-running frog? Amphibiana Jones."

"What's long and hard every time you wake up? Getting out of bed. You never feel like it making hard to get up and you usually take a long time to."