197211

Joke of the Day

"What did the atom say when it lost an electron? I better keep an ion that."

"Why are Muslims so good at driving at night? Because that's when they brake fast."

"One time I exaggerated so hard that I died."

"Sometimes I wish I was a cat just so I can constantly ignore everything said to me while licking the inside of my thigh."

"A man walks into a bar with a big slab of asphalt under his arm... He goes to the bartender and says, ""Two beers mate, One for now and one for the road"""

"So a waste depository is where you put the waste you never want to see again... And /r/funny is reddits largest humour depository."

"WIFE: He makes everything into a wood pun ME: This couch has such great lumber support WIFE: See?? THERAPIST: Try to stop ME: Oakey dokey"

"If Twitter was a country, its flag would just have a bunch of poop and bacon and beer on it."

"I make apocalypse jokes... Like there's no tomorrow"

"""Some say Jesus drove a Honda, but didn't like to talk about it"" ""For I did not speak of my own Accord..."" - John 12:49"