197211

Joke of the Day

"What did the atom say when it lost an electron? I better keep an ion that."

"Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""why the long face?"""

"It's a joke, not a dick don't take it so hard"

"I set my GPS voice to Mom, and now when I miss a turn, it says ""Your sister wouldn't have missed that."""

"Did you hear about how the Police were called to a daycare yesterday? a three-year-old was resisting a rest"

"Wife: Are you gonna wear that to the cookout? Oh... *reaches under mesh shirt* *takes off nipple ring* Better?"

"I 've got an intense fear that I am a hypochondriac, or at least showing symptoms of one"

"How Many Surrealists Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb? Fish"

"I realize not everyone is cool with Easter egg hunts, but they are vital. They help manage the egg population and keep it at healthy levels"

"Ron on Facebook says he hopes to be stuck on a dessert island, so naturally I commented ""that sounds delicious""."