197094

Joke of the Day

"I climbed a mountain yesterday Things were looking up until I got to the summit. It was all downhill from there."

"What do you call a gust of wind full of sand? A rough draft"

"The downside to posting jokes all the time is that if I tweeted ""Help, I am in an Iranian prison"" everyone would be like ""haha good one"""

"""Body of Christ."" ""Why thank you, I HAVE been working out."""

"What does Harry Potter say when he wants a cigarette? Tobaccio"

"What do you feel when there's no more coffee? Depresso."

"lol at all these fucking idiots in first class, cant even afford a private jet smh"

"On the other hand, you have different fingers."

"Jimmy don't jack off, you'll go blind. Little Jimmy's dad walks into his son's room and says, ""Jimmy don't jack off, you'll go blind."" Little Jimmy: ""Dad I'm over here, in the living room..."""

"How do you know if the moon is waxing or waning? If it's waning you'll get weally weally wet."