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Joke of the Day

"On the other hand, you have different fingers."

"My Reddit posts are just like my prostitutes. They always end up getting buried."

"If you didn't want me looking in your bedroom than you never should have put your window at the same height as my ladder."

"What do you call an STD for homeless people? Hermit Crabs"

"[on first date] Let me get that for you. *holds door open* ""May I help you, sir?"" Yes, my lady would like your finest soft taco supreme..."

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? I wouldn't pay good money to see a lentil."

"Nickelback walks into a bar.... So Nickelback walks into a bar, and there is no punchline, because ruining music isn't funny."

"Dust bunnies are great pets because they thrive on neglect."

"Is Bill Cosby guilty? Is Bill Cosby guilty of all these crimes against women? Well, we shall see, cuz the proof is in the pudding!"

"I think the real reason men don't lactate is because we would just be irresponsible and squirt each other with it."