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Joke of the Day

"The baby changing station in this Chili's bathroom is broken I put the old baby in there and when I opened it back up it was the same one"

"Girl likes 'boys with accents <333' on Facebook. I charge at her. ""HELLOUGH!! I AM HELMUT, FROM RUSSIA. I WORK AS STRANGLER AT MEAT FACTORY"""

"Why was George Washington buried at Mount Vernon ? Because he was dead !"

"I would really love to see how Michaelangelo managed to paint that ceiling with his nunchucks."

"Doctor wanted a semen sample, stool sample and urine sample. I gave him a pair of my underwear. Here, you sort it out."

"I finally got my crush wet.. She got mad at me because i stole her umbrella"

"Oh vajazzled is definitely going on my bucket list. I'll pity the fool that has to jazzle my vag."

"I only got one match, but I can make an explosion. And now the government thinks I'm a terrorist."

"Did you hear about the Mexican train hijacker? They say he had locomotives."

"Why do terds taper at the end? So your asshole doesn't slam shut."