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Joke of the Day

"Girl likes 'boys with accents <333' on Facebook. I charge at her. ""HELLOUGH!! I AM HELMUT, FROM RUSSIA. I WORK AS STRANGLER AT MEAT FACTORY"""

"My life coach just asked me leave because apparently she has ""other pedicures to do"" and doesn't ""speak English""."

"I heard Hotel California for the 6th time on the radio during my cross country road trip. You can change the station any time you like, but the song never leaves"

"Why is the Queen only 30cm Tall She is a Ruler..."

"How do you piss off a bunch of people on the internet even worse? [Deleted]"

"Its weird that goldfish will eat other goldfish but wont eat goldfish crackers. Life sure is complicated sometimes."

"Chuck Norris does not eat honey, he eats bees."

"What did the prostitute say when she saw Lamar had OD'd? O DANM!"

"Sea Shells Why do mermaids wear sea shells? Because the D shells are to big."

"What do you call a well-endowed Asian man? Hung Lo"