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Joke of the Day
"Sometimes I'm right. Other times my wife is close enough to hear what I'm saying."
Next Joke
"Before I got on the toilet, I was trying to look for toilet paper... And I almost lost my shit."
"Batman doesn't kill. Wayne Enterprises is a defense contractor. Guy is conflicted about the wrong things."
"Who seduces all the ladies at the swimming pool? Don Juan de Marco Polo."
"when life gives you lemons, use their natural acidity to temporarily blind your opponent"
"On a scale of 1 to 10 you can't even weigh yourself unless you are an infant or leprechaun or something."
"God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world... ...Then He made the Earth rough and He laughed and laughed..."
"Having an Internet girlfriend is easier than having a real girlfriend because I don't have to suck my gut in."
"Did you hear Victoria entered a boxing tournament where the grand prize was a sex change? I heard she came out the Victor"
"MAFIA BOSS (ominously): Take him out ME: What if he's already seeing someone MAFIA BOSS: Well then you have to respect that relationship"