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Joke of the Day

"*knocks on door* You're too fat. ""Wha--"" You're way too dumb. ""Wait--who.."" Hi, I'm Roy. I sell insecurity systems. You're too poor for one."

"You show me your boobs and I'll show you my tattoo... Tit for Tat"

"When I was a kid, I asked my mom if I could lick the beater. ""Don't be stupid,"" she said, ""your father's not home."""

"Chinese girl I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said, ""Wow!"" Then her friend said, ""She means 666-3629."""

"I would tell you a joke about anal sex... Butt fuck it."

"How does Amazon Mexico pay its employees? In Jeff Pesos."

"My friend makes urinal cakes for a living... ...it takes him 35 minutes to bake each batch."

"Never trust an atom. They make up everything."

"A black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. ""Cool, where'd you get that?"" says the bartender. ""Africa"", replies the parrot. ""They're all over the place."""

"I hate moving house... It means I have to go around telling all the neighbours I'm on the sex offenders register again. I'm not, but it sure keeps their kids out of the yard."