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Joke of the Day

"My wd-40 can rusted. It was irony."

"The blonde tip-toed near the medicine cabinet so that she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills. This is not a joke, ambien serious!"

"What did the terrorist say when he woke up? It was Allah dream."

"Two mexicans are playing Call Of Duty... It was A Juan v. Juan match."

"If Dairy Queen and Burger King had a baby, what do you call it? Restaurants can't have sex you moron."

"My wife has the body of a porn star... ..which is kind of creepy and takes up a lot of room in the fridge."

"Why was the Rastafarian poor? Because he was jah bless"

"What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh."

"As a kid, I used to think $5,000 was a lot of money. But now that I'm an adult, I think it's a tremendous amount of money."

"What is the difference between Spiderman and Superman? Peter Parker can swing a web. Clark Kent."