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Joke of the Day

"My life is like a movie where two soulmates meet in line at the grocery store, except I'm the woman behind them buying tampons and cat food."

"The grim reaper attends a funeral early in the day... as he gets there, he says, ""Good mourning, everyone"" Ill see myself out.."

"Pour your beer in a coffee cup because sometimes walking around with a beer during breakfast is frowned upon."

"It's ironic that Pistorius will wake up this morning and there really will be a burglar using his toilet."

"I attached all my watches together into a belt today. It's a complete waist of time."

"What's worse than finding a hole in your condom? Finding a condom in your hole."

"I have a roommate. She cleans my room, I clean hers. We are maid for each other."

"How do you make a coffee sad? You mocha..."

"My brother started making terrible bird puns to annoy me... But toucan play at that game"

"Why are all the girls in my school dressed up like OP,s mom?"