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Joke of the Day

"The plumber came to fix the toilet & said, ""Where is the water main?"" so I turned on the tap & said, ""Right here, main."""

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"Brunos are from mars, freddies are from mercury"
"What do you call a sarcastic crimminal going down the stairs? A condescending con descending."
"Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked."
"What do you call a silent kebab? A shh-kebab"
"What do running shoes and Neo-Nazis have in common? Both make Jews run faster! (Sorry, but as an agnostic Jew myself, I hope that it's okay for me to make this joke.)"
"I love standing up.. ..but I can't stand sitting down!"
"I have never seen the movie Titanic and I never plan to because a friend spoiled the ending for me The boat sinks. Credit to u/Donkey__Xote for this beautiful comment in an r/AskReddit thread"
"My blind friend complained I was putting things in his way... He'll get over it."
"Why are black people tall? Because they knee grows.."