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Joke of the Day
"Why can't you trust 8? cause she's a two-timin' four."
Next Joke
"[looking at wife's tombstone] today would've been our anniversary *falls to knees* why did I pre-buy her tombstone causing her to divorce me"
"FIRST PERSON TO USE AN IRON: This battle hammer does wonders for my enemies' shirts!"
"Knock-knock Who's there? Dave. Dave's not here, man..."
"Why was the criminal's argumentative essay so good? He had some outstanding warrants."
"2 fish in a tank, one says to the other Do you know how to drive this thing?"
"How do you make a dead baby float? 2 scoops vanilla, 1 scoop dead baby."
"A wind turbine's friend asks him what music he likes Wind turbine: ""I'm a big metal fan."""
"What does vlads wife say about his premature ejaculation? Just putin, don't Russian"
"WAITER: Would you like any dessert? DATE: No, just the ch- ME: CHEESECAKE. Just the cheesecake."