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Joke of the Day

"Things I suck at:1. Being attractive.2. Being normal.3. Relationships.4. Texting back.5. Math.6. Life."

"Women always had all the power over me on first dates, especially when they had googly eyes on their chest."

"What did the girl with no hands get for her birthday? I don't know, she hasn't opened it"

"Did you see the story about the missing dolphin? I'd tell you more about it but there's really no porpoise..."

"You should ask her if she gained weight. That way she knows you're paying attention to her."

"I don't understand why everyone thinks the KKK are racist. Every week at our meetings there's always loads of black people hanging around."

"Did you hear about the witch who was ashamed of her long black hair? She always wore long gloves to cover it up."

"Dog training The plan to get my dog to swallow semen is coming on a treat."

"What Do You Call A Gay Boxer? ""Fruit Punch"". I'm sorry."

"Why did the hipster burn his mustache on his coffee? ...he was totally drinking it before it was cool."