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Joke of the Day

"What do you call two Mexicans playing volleyball? Juan on Juan"

"What common trait do viruses, trojan horses and worms have in common? They are all INSECURE."

"I went to a bar that only served beer in cans,and bottles. Seems the place had a draught excluder."

"My boss told me to dress for the job I want; not the job I have. I'm now in a disciplinary meeting for wearing my Batman costume to work."

"Wanna see an asshole wrapped in plastic? Yeah? Ok, let me see your driver's license. (My buddy's grandpa told me this back in high school the first time I met him.)"

"Sometimes I spend whole meetings wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door."

"My family can't decide what kind of Lab to get (Chocolate, Yellow, Black, etc.) so we drew straws. I won, so we're getting a Meth."

"Classroom Nerd (In a high school class room) Girl: Do you see that F@#$ING nerd over there. Teacher: Don't be so mean, he could be your boss one day. Nerd: Sorry I don't plan on being a pimp"

"If pro and con are opposites... Is progress the opposite of Congress?"

"If my girlfriend and I were stoners, I would propose by asking ... ...""Marriage, you wanna?"""