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Joke of the Day

"[job interview] What's ur greatest strength? ""I wear too much cologne"" No, I mean- ""A lady legit passed out when I got in the elevator"""

"They say you get closer to God when you die.. because you stop existing"

"Popup ads are the Jehovah's witnesses of the internet."

"How do you spot a blind guy at a nude beach? Its not that hard"

"Barista: How do you take your coffee? Me: Seriously. Very seriously."

"[on Instagram] I don't really like this picture but, good for this person for still being alive and experiencing things. *likes their pic*"

"Who was the naughtiest character in Star Wars? R2D2. All of his lines are bleeped out."

"Tried to catch fog yesterday... Mist."

"Whenever I wake up in a bad mood I always wear a shirt I don't like just in case I turn into The Hulk."

"I was going to tell a gay joke... But fuck it."