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Joke of the Day

"As a kid my mom laughed at me because I was always worrying about being shot with a crossbow while on the toilet. Well who's laughing now?"

"Did you hear about the amateur porn actor with the invisible dick? He came out of nowhere."

"I can't go to sleep if any of my apps need to be updated, but will drive my car with the check engine light until it explodes"

"A mitochondrian walks into a bar and asks for a cup of energy. The barman says ""that'll be ATP"""

"1. Sit in stall of a crowded bathroom. 2. Whisper, ""Oh no, not again..."" 3. Slowly pour a large bucket of milk onto the floor."

"Why do conservatives want everyone to own a gun? They have to justify killings blacks somehow."

"Did you hear about the fire in the rednecks library? Both the books got burned and one hadn't even been coloured in yet."

"How many members of Linkin Park does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, cuz in the end it doesn't even matter!!!"

"Go down a water slide when it isn't wet. And then you'll understand the importance of foreplay."

"When chuck norris asks for change for a penny, he always gets it."