196075

Joke of the Day

"Biden: Maybe we make our own country and he won't be invited Obama: Joe Biden: And MAYBE THIS TIME WE CALL IT THE BLACK HOUSE RIGHT BARACK"

"What was Beethoven's favorite fruit? BANANANAAAAAAA"

"Wife wants to relax today! Wife: Today, I want to relax, so I have brought three movie tickets. Husband: why three tickets? Wife: you and your parents. "

"Me: Sorry I got drunk and ate all the bacon. Wife: You ate Beggin' Strips. *me to the dog* Sorry I got drunk and ate all of your bacon."

"I was going to write a novel but I may just print out all my tweets and dedicate it to my parents not loving me enough."

"Nice butts take my breath away... I'm assmatic."

"I walked into a bookstore and asked if they have any books on gloryholes. She said ya, over there in the mystery romance section."

"Did you hear about the butcher who sat on his bacon slicer? He got a little behind in his deliveries."

"Was just watching Animal Planet, and get this, hippos don't really eat marbles!"

"Eggs and Toast walk into a bar And the bartender says, ""We don't serve breakfast here."""