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Joke of the Day

"What comes after Brexit ? BREICH"

"The punchline is ""because he was trying to make ends meat."" You make up the joke. Let's see what you got."

"Why does it take longer to make a snow woman than a Snowman? Because you have to hollow out the head."

"A good friend will delete your browser history for you, but a best friend will make your chalk lines smaller"

"Told girl on flight she was pretty and she replied ""Tell me something I don't know."" So i asked if she remembered the quadratic formula."

"When I punish my future kids I wont just take their phone I'm gonna be them on social media & just comment ""nice"" on everyones old pool pics"

"I think my eyes are playing tricks on me. *my eyes hide a whoopie cushion behind my skull*"

"There's a fine science to the number of texts you need to pretend to be friendly before asking someone for a favor."

"Q: What do you get when you cross pasta with a snake? A: Spaghetti that winds itself around your fork."

"What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? The first is a super hero, the second is a simple command."