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Joke of the Day

"When cats are sad... Bartender: ""What can I get you?"" Cat: ""Shot of tequilla."" *Bartender pours it.* *Cat slowly pushes it off the bar.* Cat: ""I'll have another."""

Next Joke
 
"I'm not saying it is your fault, I said I'm blaming you."
"""She's smart, has a great personality, an unbelievable body, and she makes an amazing duckface in pictures."" - No man ever"
"You know what the problem with biplanes is? You never know what direction they are going."
"Everyone keeps saying Marry Christmas to me... I'm so confused. Who's this Christmas girl and why does everyone want me to marry her?"
"Well, well, well, if it isn't my inability to cope with life."
"How many assholes does it take to change a lightbulb? It doesn't matter, mine itches so bad it's on fire, providing plenty of light for everyone in the room!"
"NEW! TOP 100 TAZERS IN AMERICA!! #45 WILL SHOCK YOU!"
"Why do black people have nightmares? Because the last guy who had a dream got shot"
"I've done all the cleaning and ironing but I've forgot why I broke into this house in the first place."