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Joke of the Day

"Him: Wanna bump uglies, baby? Me: Ooh, yes please! * Grabs two ugly people and starts smacking them against each other. *"

"How does a mathematician deal with constipation? He grabs a pencil and tries to work it out"

"What do you call an unborn child that is excessively ready to accept failure? A defetus"

"So happy I got to see ""bucket list"" added to the dictionary before I die."

"It's impossible for TWO dudes to ride ONE motorcycle without it looking romantic..."

"What type of fruit is impossible to marry? Cantaloupe"

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Because of the silent P."

"i hate workimg at the lightbulb factory!! evrey day i hav to thimk of good ideas so they can harvest the lightbulbs that apear abov my head"

"I've been trying to think of a joke about Miley Cyrus... It just hasn't been twerking."

"A man walks into a bar ... and stays there my entire childhood."