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Joke of the Day

"The Last Man on Earth I wouldn't mind being the last man on Earth. At least I'd find out if all those girls were telling the truth."

"How can you tell if a groom is Polish? He would be the one with the clean bowling shirt."

"Some people knocked on my door & asked for a small donation. for building a local swimming pool. I gave them a glass of water."

"I organized a 3-some last night There were 2 no shows, but I still had a good time."

"Shoepidity... wearing ridiculously uncomfortable shoes just because they look good."

"Whenever someone talks to me, I freak out because I forget people can see me."

"How did alien defeat predator? ""Hi, why don't you have a seat right over there please.."""

"I had to stop eating clocks, it was too time consuming."

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I wouldn't pay 200 to let a lentil in my mouth."

"Every time I read news about ISS Im like what did ISIS do this time... half way through the article... how the hell did they get to space. Oh wait damn you dyslexia!! edit: joke"