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Joke of the Day

"""LOL"" is the new way of saying ""I really have nothing to say."""

"The Republicans asked the Democrats what it would take to stop being considered stupid. The democrats said ""Just put forth one presidential candidate who can make a brain surgeon look like an idiot."""

"TIL: Captain Hook ran an entire pirate ship. He did it single handedly too. He was a bit out of breath afterwards though."

"Went out for a few drinks with some hedgehogs last night... I got spiked"

"Don't send me a face and then wonder why I show up at your house naked."

"Dr. Seuss would have CRUSHED it on 8 Mile."

"What do you call Ralph Nader's alter ego? His alter-nader"

"Why wasn't Michael Jackson allowed to perform at the children's hospital? Because he is dead. ^((I came up with this joke when I was very tired.))"

"My wife gets really annoyed when I use the word ""cunt."" I suppose she has a point, I really should make an effort to learn her mother's real name."

"A duck walks into rehab ""What're you here for?"" asks the desk lady. ""I'm addicted to quack."""