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Joke of the Day

"Got excited because I found $20 in the laundry. Then I remembered my kids don't have jobs and the money was probably mine."

"A man was arrested for eating... He was at food COURT"

"Q: Why was the chessmaster interested in foreign women? A: He wanted a Czech mate."

"There should be more than one kind of handicapped parking placard. ""I have no legs"" and ""My knees gave out at 350 lbs"" aren't the same."

"""If I weigh 400 pounds and can lift 600 pounds, shouldn't I be able to fly by lifting the chair I'm sitting in?"""

"Do you have a Tex-Mex emergency? call 9-Juan-Juan"

"I started a figurine company that specializes in miniature Muhammad statues We make a small prophet."

"I had a job building porta-potties I had a job building Porta - potties But people would shit all over my work"

"H.o.m.e.w.o.r.k Half of my energy wasted on random knowledge"

"Sherlock Holmes walks into his house with a basket full of lemons. Watson asks, ""Where did you get so many lemons?"" Holmes replies, ""A lemon tree, Watson.."""