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Joke of the Day
"""Let's eat, Pappy."" Not ""Let's eat Pappy."" Proof grammar saves lives."
Next Joke
"Your momma so dumb she drove around looking for the App Store"
"How does Super Mario contact the dead? He uses a Luigi board."
"I bet Bruce Wayne sometimes accidentally signs his credit card receipts ""Batman"" when he's drunk. I know I do."
"Considering we've produced Miley Cyrus and Kanye West, I'm more surprised other countries haven't built a wall around the U.S."
"I dated a 21 year old for 3 months before she looked up from her phone and realized I wasn't Tobey Maguire"
"Why did Pinocchio's nose get longer? Because he told his wife he cheated on her."
"When life handed Chuck Norris lemons, he made chocolate pudding."
"I go to a gym called Resolutions. It has exercise equipment for the first 2 weeks of each year, then becomes a bar for the remaining 50."
"a peaceful man was so opposed to war that he upon reading his draft notice he passed out and remained comatose for the duration of the war he was an unconscientious objector"