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Joke of the Day

"So a circumference walks into a restaurant... ...sits down and orders a bowl of diameter ice cream. The waiter asks, ""You want pie with that?"""

"'Two can play that game...' -people who dont understand that's how games usually work"

"me: ""so is this a date?"" hitchhiker: ""um"""

"What would Jesus's favorite gun be? A nail gun"

"When is the water in the shower room musical? When it's piping hot."

"If you had one match to light a kerosene lamp, fire place, wood-burning stove Which do you light first? The match"

"What do you call it when you soak a thumbdrive in vodka and shove it up your keister... an upload."

"""Instagram announced they will allow users to see who viewed their profile..."" *wakes up in cold sweat*"

"Just got added to a list called ""people."" Glad I made that cut."

"Reddit, what good thing got ruined? Reddit."