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Joke of the Day
"Why did the leper return to the shower? He forgot his head and shoulders."
Next Joke
"Nana said I took too much NyQuil so I laughed at her and then she turned back into a paper clip and jumped into my fave Law & Order episode."
"Why did the invisible man turn down the job? He couldn't see himself doing the work"
"The Guyz l Shadowrun Returns l Razor Edge ep 3 l HE'S STILL THERE Hi, I'm Karmit, and I play video games...yeah... Well that's all I can really say. Just want to advertise stuff so...yeah...america..."
"How many times can you watch the Godfather movies before you're bored? More than a Coppola times....Solozzo times I guess..don't be a Fredo gettin' addicted to it.... It's Kay :)"
"I just read this article about short term memory I don't remember what it was about"
"[dinner w/friends] ""How long you two been married?"" It's been thirt- (wife shaking head) teenish twenty- (still shaking) for a long time."
"Your life doesn't get better by chance. It gets better by choice."
"What do you do, if you're jerking off when you're meant to do something else but you're putting it off? Procrasturbation."
"Perfect Joke: Two peanuts were walking down the street... ...one was assaulted."