194961

Joke of the Day

"What part of a football pitch smells nicest? The scenter spot!"

"RETIRED STUNTMAN: We didn't have fancy CGI. If the script said to drive a truck into a dinosaur, we drove a truck into a goddamn dinosaur."

"He rose from mild mannered Social Studies teacher... To vicious kingpin of a criminal cupcake empire. Coming soon to AMC: ""BAKING BRAD"""

"What's the worse quality of a hermit crab? They're too shell-fish!"

"A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says... ""Five beers please."""

"Did you say that you need to go see a psychiatrist? That's crazy!"

"How many feminists do you need to replace a lightbulb? Only 1, she'll hold the bulb in place and wait while the world revolves around her."

"Q: Why did the engineer drive the backwards? A: He had a loco motive."

"I'm having car trouble. I can't afford to put gas in it."

"Why no, stranger, I CAN'T believe how early it gets dark now despite the fact this phenomena has occurred every single year of my existence."