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Joke of the Day

"[interrogation] ""Where were u on the nite of the 5th?"" Stabbing a guy. ""Louder for the tape."" [leans in] Grabbing a pie. I went out for pie."

"Who do you give a lost gun to? The rifle owner."

"Are you a Carbon sample? Because I want to *date* you."

"It's impossible to touch your elbows behind your back. You just pushed your boobs towards me."

"The way my dog maintains eye contact while taking a dump is unsettling. Can't he read a magazine like a normal dog?"

"Princess Diana had dandruff. Cops found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment."

"Did you hear the joke about the Dutch speaking farmer? Nevermind. It doesn't transplant well."

"We everyone, I wish a of you ovey people a happy christmas, ive ife to the fu est, and make merry with a your fami ies. crap sorry, noel."

"[Shipwrecked diary] Day 1: I found a pen, and a notebook to write in. More pens. I might be in a Staples. Printer paper. I'm in a Staples."

"What is the difference between Black men and white men? Black men can't fuck ""Alexis Texas"""