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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross an elephant with a poodle? A dead poodle with an 18 inch wide asshole."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Answer ! Answer who ? Answer all over your porch ! It's a mess out here !"

"I watched the African version of ""Man v. Food"", but it was just a half-hour of a guy chasing a gazelle."

"I've lost 10 pounds! Well, I subtracted five for PMS. That Q-Tip I was holding must be at least a pound. Plus my hair was wet. Go, me!"

"Did you hear about the time traveler who finished his plate? He went back four seconds."

"I am so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed."

"Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Elvis? A: Elvis was drafted and served proudly in the Army."

"There have been many time in 2010, when I have annoyed you, disturbed you, irritated you, bugged you... today I just wanna tell you... I plan to continue in 2011!"

"What did the FLAC say? I'm an audiophile"

"What is the last thing that crosses a fly's mind when it hits the windshield? - it's asshole!"