19482

Joke of the Day

"Remember when putting something on the internet was the equivalent of hiding it in a vault on a planet your parents had never even heard of?"

"When I see a couple fighting I like to walk up to the one who's more pissed off and whisper ""We can make it look like a suicide"" and wink"

"Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween. I guess they don't appreciate random people knocking at their doors all the time."

"Whats the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg."

"Recently a fellow coin maker challenged me to beat his best work. (x-post /r/3amjokes) When I punched his daughter's face, he said ""That's not what I mint."" At least his daughter was impressed."

"Contents of my wallet just spilled all over the cashier's counter, so embarrassing, spiders everywhere."

"I don't get why everyone talks so fast in old movies. What was the hurry? There was nothing to do back then."

"In the 1970s, a team of racist office supply scientists invented the whiteboard with an evil plan to replace every blackboard in the world."

"What Slenderman doesnt have? Facebook."

"Why do black cats never shave ? Because 8 out of 10 cats prefer whiskas !"