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Joke of the Day

"Does this subreddit like jokes about sodium? ""Na"""

"Me: What do you want for breakfast? 4yo: Bagel Me: *makes it 4yo: Tricked you! I wanted toast Me: Nice trick. Now, eat your bagel"

"[God making African animals] Screw it. Just put stripes on a horse, make that water lizard really big, and put spots on a really tall deer."

"Me: this doesn't seem right Dentist: u know on tv when they say 9/10 dentists M: yeah D: im the one *he resumes hitting my teeth w/ a comb*"

"I was going to go to the gym and run 7 miles this morning to continue trying to look good but then I remembered I own Photoshop."

"Can you believe that after all the shit they've been through, they're still together? My Buttcheeks ((_"

"Did you hear about the French Olympic race walker who pooped his pants mid race? At least he didn't oui in them too."

"'NO NO NO NO NO NO' - My brain, every time words start coming out of my mouth."

"It's amazing how quickly reheated food in the microwave goes cold again when you think you're only going to be on the computer for a moment."

"Why do people who drink milk struggle to walk? Because they lactose."