194730
Joke of the Day
"I've been drinking and trying to think of a great tweet for a few hours now and here it is: FARTS"
Next Joke
"I finally figured out why Donald Trump married Melania... ...she came from ***YUUUUUUUUUUUUG***oslavia. ~~(thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week)~~"
"The only Plato I care about is a big Plato spaghetti"
"I tell people to have a great weekend at noon on Mondays hoping they won't talk to me for the rest of the week."
"What's the most unsatisfying prank?"
"My wife complained that I don't give her flowers anymore. I replied that she doesn't give me blow jobs anymore."
"What do you call a deaf gynecologist? A lip reader"
"A jealous woman...can make the FBI look like mall security."
"My time-travelling uncle died. RIP Robert Mack, 1968-1834"
"What do a lonely astronaut and your thumbs have in common? They both hang out at the Space Bar."