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Joke of the Day

"The only Plato I care about is a big Plato spaghetti"

"DAVE: sorry im late alvin needed me DATE: is that your son? DAVE: for the last time gwen, he's the lead singer in the chipmunk band i manage"

"There's no attraction quite as strong as tomato sauce & a white shirt"

"I'm not going to intervene next time my kids start fighting, I'm just going to close the door and whoever comes out alive will be my kid"

"You walk into a bar It's a gay bar, faggot"

"What do you call it when you kill an important donkey? An Assassassination. I made it up when I was seven and to this day its the only thing I've ever made up that resembles a joke."

"How is the elevator business? Oh, it has its up and downs..."

"Farted on the bus, 4 people turned around, felt like i'm on ""The Voice"""

"What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a scorpion"

"What's the worst part about being black and Jewish? Having to sit at the back of the oven with the rest of the dirty niggers."