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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a golf ball and a woman's G-Spot? A man will spend half an hour looking for a golf ball."

"You know whats sad? A depressed onion cutting itself."

"""2, 4, 6, 8!! Ride my face let's fornicate!!!"" And with that, HR banished me from all future employee picnics."

"I just did a fart that was like the movie 'The Sixth Sense' There was a weird twist at the end, now I'm afraid to look"

"What possible bit about trying to buy a large number of ice cream containers and two boxes of tampons says I want to chat you up, douchebag?"

"What do you call a bottle of glue in a spy's pocket? A bonding agent."

"My mom always said I was like a punctuation mark I am an exclamation mark when I should have just been a period."

"How are procrastination and masturbation alike? At first it's all fun, but in the end you realize you're just screwing yourself."

"Why r/Jokes has too much tiny jokes? Thus you can move on to the next one faster"

"You can't be anti-abortion AND pro-death penalty AND a unicorn."