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Joke of the Day

"What does Snoop Dogg have an umbrella for? Fo' Drizzle"

"What are pillowy breasts made of? mammary foam"

"Me: Pack your bags.I won the lottery! G/F: Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff? Me: Doesn't matter, just get out."

"How to calm a crying baby: 1. Pick it up. 2. Ok, so when it turns like 5 you can put it back down. Good luck."

"I am a feminist. Unless you tell me to go and bring you a sandwich. I'm also a waitress."

"I thought I saw an original joke today Turns out I just misreddit"

"Attention Netflix and Chill has been replaced The new thing is Cookies and Dick...that is all"

"what do you mean you can't deliver pizza to a pillow fort"

"What an adorable idea. My coworkers have been writing names on food in the office fridge. I am currently eating a yogurt called Debbie."

"If there's a pistachio that's difficult to open, I'll just move right on to another because life is short and so is my god damn temper"