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Joke of the Day

"Bought a cat collar with a bell on it, and now I can't sneak up on the cat to put it on her."

"What happened to the gay wizard? He vanished with a puff!"

"I was going to do the dishes but they weren't in the mood."

"Hit my neighbor's cat last night Quick little bastard, I had to cross two lanes to get him"

"I really enjoy my morning expresso... ... it's always esploding with flavour."

"Newt Gingrich suggested there's a ""right way"" to legalize gay marriage. He also reaffirmed that there's no ""wrong way"" to eat a Reese's."

"I just want to hug this out. With my hands around your neck type of hug. What I mean is, I want to strangle you."

"There's a whole world of people out there! *closes the door*"

"Why are all black people tall? Because they're negroes!"

"Lady Astronaut: *eats all the chocolate* Guy Astronaut: You know we're on the space shuttle for- LA: SHUTTLE YOUR MOUTH AND GIVE ME SPACE"