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Joke of the Day

"""So You Think You Can Keep Your Stupid Talent to Yourself and Stop Bothering People?"" would be a show I'd watch."

"Why do engineering majors refer to themselves ""engineers""? You don't see literature majors calling themselves Starbucks baristas"

"Toilets that automatically flush before I'm done make me feel like every relationship I've ever been in."

"Relationships are a lot like algebra... Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?"

"If you love something keep it in the refrigerator, keep it fresh, that thing you love is a lot like mayonnaise."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea? I wouldn't pay 100 bucks to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"Went to my daughters netball match this weekend What a semi"

"Today I've heard the funniest joke ever. It was so funny."

"What does a robot do at the end of one night stand? He falls off"

"I need a girl that appreciates the little things. So when I take my pants off she will be excited."