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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I drop something edible I just call my dog over to clean it up."

"What do you get if you cross a rabbit and a flea ? Bugs Bunny !"

"The problem with today's children is that today's grown-ups are idiots."

"Me: I invited Todd over for dinner. Wife: Uncle Todd or Todd who takes things literally? *Todd exits out the back door with our television*"

"I have the confidence of a bald headed eagle, and the shy modesty of his distant relative the combover falcon."

"Did you hear about the narcissist who called himself Jesus Christ? He used the Lord's name in vain."

"Lovers decided to commit suicide. The boy jumped first. The girl did not. From that day, started the concept of...Ladies First. @Laugh_Riot"

"The police got all the democrat protesters in California to leave last night They gave them participation awards"

"You're only as old as you feel, they say. So, 80. Today it's 80."

"What's the difference between a battery and a women? The Battery has a positive side."