194086

Joke of the Day

"What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me, I'm going in!"

"My doctor told me to examine my faeces every time I go to the toilet in order to monitor my health. But my bathroom is so dark, I can't see shit."

"I have a life besides Twitter. Like this one time that I take a walk into the woods but then realize there was no wifi & I began to panic."

"If a woman asks you to guess her age, always subtract 10 years from your estimate. IMPORTANT: Do NOT do this if she's in her early twenties."

"A woman was on trial for murdering her husband with his guitar. The judge asked, ""First offender?"" She replied, ""No. First it was the Gibson, then the Fender."""

"What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? Gagged. Credit to my house-mate for this gem!"

"What is the best part about raping a midget? Their arms are too short to hold you back."

"When a women dates a younger man she's called a cougar, when a man dates a younger woman he is called Defendant."

"What do Karl Marx and the founder of Linux have in common? Both of them hate classes."

"There's only one similarity between Donald Trump and Feminists. Redditors hate them both."