194024
Joke of the Day
"Teen smoking is down 35 percent from when I was a kid. Unfortunately, so is teen ""coolness."""
Next Joke
"Am I too fat? Wife: I too fat to be a personal trainer? Me: No honey you just need to lose weight."
"What meal was given out to the survivors of the Chernobyl accident? Fission chips."
"Remember: You are like a snowflake. Beautiful. Unique. White. Only here for a short time. People get mad when you sit on their cars."
"Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg? He's all right now."
"What's a hairdressers's favourite Christmas song? 'Oh comb all ye faithful'"
"Surely there's a 3rd option. Can't i just walk home? That can't be my only two choices? Ride or DIE? Seems a bit extreme."
"What's an elephant's most sexual organ? It's foot. Because if it stands on you you're fucked."
"Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and wonder, ""Do my children just spit directly at their face when brushing their teeth?"""
"If a vegetarian eats vegetables... What does a humanitarian eat?"