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Joke of the Day

"captain: a lot of rumors floating around saying I sunk the ship sailor: [clinging to a piece of the hull] please stop calling us rumors sir"

"How does the Japanese mafia keep their drinks cold they put it in a a Ya Koozie"

"What do you call a cold homie? A chilly dog."

"It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs... ...because they always take things literally."

"In my first job, I had to proofread tampon box instructions. Grammar was good, but it was clear that they had no idea how a period works."

"So Pepe is now an international hate symbol... FeelsBadMan."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Carlene ! Carlene who ? Carlene against that wall ?"

"What's white, red, black, blue, and doesn't like sex??? The 9 yr old in my trunk!!!"

"I just tripped and stumbled into a group of asian kids on the street and accidentally won a breakdancing competition."

"What did one snowman say to the other? Smells like carrots!"