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Joke of the Day

"I'm on a seafood diet If I see food and it's a fish I eat it edit: /r/jokes is not the place for dry humor. note to self: more corn and cheese"

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"How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One."
"How do you know your girlfriend is getting fat? She starts to fit into your wife's clothes."
"My sexual fetishes my sexual fetishes have been getting more and more perverse ever so slowly. But it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realized I had hit rock bottom."
"Do you know why Cannibals don't eat divorced women? Because they're bitter."
"My wife has the hottest ass in the world... Me."
"How do you know you are at a picnic with gay men? All the hot dogs taste like shit"
"Hey, did you hear that I'm dating Carbon Monoxide? They're a little clingy though, it feels like they're suffocating me"
"Burglar gently waking me... ""you live like this?"""
"Google glasses? No thanks, too much tech. It's weird ""You can secretly watch Netflix at work"" Oh, please take literally all of my money."