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Joke of the Day

"Why do ninjas make bad porn stars? Because nobody can see them coming."

"My Grandfather was one of those Unorthodox Jews. He was a Nazi."

"So the US is to send 3000 troops to help combat ebola. Does anyone else get the feeling they don't know what ebola is?"

"What do they call Counter-Strike in the Middle East? Tuesday."

"Women are like credit cards The ones I really want have a low interest and won't qualify me, so I get stuck with one that has a high interest, extra fees and no rewards. *(credit: Uncyclopedia)*"

"Why did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Because the teacher said ""do your essay"""

"Q: What do you call a blonde lesbian? A: A waste."

"I did a random survey/poll on the street and according to 98% of people, ""Leave me alone""!"

"3YO: ""How do babies get out of bellies?"" ME: ""Look! Ice cream!"" *5 min later* 3YO [COVERED IN ICE CREAM]: ""How do babies get out of be---"""

"i'm going to quit my job and open a donut shop that also sells weed i'll call it 'glazed and confused'."