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Joke of the Day

"Because you can't hang up in person. Duct tape,"

"How do you tell the difference between members of the GOP and ISIS? Skin color."

"I'm a champion of grammar; A grampion, if you will."

"I leave notes around the house to remind me of things I need to do, like ""Pick up milk"" or ""Pay gas bill"" or ""Stop wasting your life away"""

"I just bought a rotisserie but I might return it because it's so rude. It's constantly flipping the bird."

"Q: Why was the chessmaster interested in foreign women? A: He wanted a Czech mate."

"Fat chicks are like masturbation. Totally fine to do in the privacy of your own home, but you should be ashamed to be caught in public."

"Your plastic surgery looks amazing. Your rotting, lifeless corpse is going to look so young. The other corpses will be so jealous."

"Dark humour is like food not everybody gets it."

"What Did The Hard Drive Get When It Wanted Data But Didn't Have The Resources? A Cache-Advance"