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Joke of the Day

"My chem teacher was talking about salt the other day and I was bored as fuck... I was about to make a Sodium pun but Na"

"I used to think I was homophobic. It turns out that I was just afraid of monsters in the closet."

"Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes."

"What's the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo bean? I've never had a garbanzo bean in my bed."

"For sale: One parachute Used once, never opened."

"Hey Texas, in Florida it's legal to abort other people's kids up to 17 years."

"If I got $1 every time somebody called me a racist I'd have enough money to make a black guy rob me"

"Since we're talking about Vampire jokes, here's my favorite. What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? See you next month..."

"Did you hear that the saucepan beat the pot in a wrestling match? It was a real boil over."

"18 years ago today, Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum saved our country and our PLANET from an alien invasion. Never forget"