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Joke of the Day

"New Year New Joke Friend: Where do you see yourself in 4 years? Me: I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision."

"What do a baby and an Etch A Sketch have in common? If you don't like it, you just shake it and start over."

"What does a Thesaurus eat for breakfast? A Synonym Roll."

"My wife once told me "" Mike you're the only man who ever gave me multiple orgasms"", which pissed me off because my names not Mike"

"I'm going to start a charity for the clinically insane. Gonna call it ""Fundamental"""

"Who was the first black person accepted into Harvard University? The Janitor"

"I was two girls away from a threesome last night!!!"

"My dad posted a picture of his ""Condom challenge fail"" It was a picture of me"

"I feel more shame when someone glances at my computer or phone and catches me looking at Facebook, than I would if it were porn."

"You know what I have found always kills the mood? The noise from a rape alarm"